Not that I’ve asked Philip Bond about it, or that he would necessarily remember should he respond to my question, but I’m not surprised that the anarchic bus from Kill Your Boyfriend was given the number 23.
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Grant Morrison is Glaswegian, that much most folk probably know. However, he seemed to have spent an inordinate amount of time in the southside of Glasgow, as I did. Looking past the Illuminatus and related fnordiness the number 23 is a bus that takes a route around the southside of Glasgow.
At some point, I’m sure a young Grant travelled by this bus, and doubtless feared for his life. The number 23 had the driver in a cage due to various nutjobs trying to attack him or her. Well, it would be a him, I don’t think anyone would put a woman into that cage thing unless they were exhibiting some sort of cruelness. This would have the side effect of people jumping on the bus for free as the driver would be rather foolish to get out and chase them.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the mystical number 23 would also turn out to be the most dangerous bus in the world and is probably part of the reason why the number is invisibly imprinted on Grant’s big baldy head.
Also, here’s another bus tale I wrote up elsewhere.
We left Metropolitan at Candleriggs at midnight to walk to Union Street for a bus. Along the way, various living ghosts stumbled past, folk with blood all over their faces, a guy with his cock out pissing and walking, an army of sengas harassing a nerd and the remnants of the 2002 goth bomb that went off outside the Borders Bookstore still fighting the good fight.
We arrived to the bus stop outside the Goose on Union Street to see a group of 2 guys/ 2 girls having a running battle through the traffic, the protagonist male had stolen a shoe from one of the females and was busy trying to throw it into a bin or the traffic or behind a shop or anywhere but her foot. This led to him being savagely beaten by the girls once they caught him.
We got on the packed bus to hear someone at the back shouting â€œOh, the Banter!â€ ala Chewin the Fat at the circus of tomfoolery in the street. While the bus was travelling to itâ€™s destination of Shawlands Cross, a Celtic fan, bedecked in Green got on. A member of a hen party passes him to get off and on spotting his religious leanings asks â€œAre you a Rangers fan thenâ€?
As she gets off the bus, he starts with the most vicious tirade Iâ€™ve heard in years compressed into about 10 seconds of shouting. I donâ€™t remember it in full, but to paraphraseâ€¦
â€œYou fuckin mingin whore. You stinkin, boggin mockit cunt. Ya fuckin boggin stinkin mingin mockit boggin horror. Youâ€™re fuckin stinkin, ya fuckin fanny. Ahâ€™ll fuckin huv you, ya fuckin disgustin slapper.â€
etcetera, etcetera â€¦
Anyway, the girl in question, who had just left the bus, responded by lifting her skirt and flashing her underwear at him, which only seemed to rile him further.
I canâ€™t particularly remember what he may have said after this as I was trying to avoid a buckfasted young man from bouncing off me insisting he was going to meet his mates at a party in Nitshill, and that they were all waiting for him there. Not that he’d just been abandoned or anything. I wouldn’t go to Nitshill during the day, and most certainly not at night while off my face.
From the second set of Peel Sessions, the Orb cover the Sex Pistols’ No Fun. Being as it comes at the end of a 13 minute exxcessively ambient version of O.O.B.E. it’s a bit of a shock to the system and probably the straightest Orb track there is in so much as it’s a fairly rote cover version of the track, especially when compared to the Orb/Robbie Williams cover of the Bee Gees’ I Started a Joke.
The Orb – No Fun
From the charity compilation “Gotta Get A Message To You”, the following featured vocals from Take That’s fat dancer. Proceeds went to Live Challenge ’99, which raised money for young people’s projects in the Northwest of England.
The Orb ft. Robbie Williams – I Started a Joke
This I previously was under the impression it was an Orb project, but it seems to have Youth and pals instead.
Jam On The Mutha – Hotel California(The Orb In Cali remix)
I remember seeing posters for The Fauves back when AKA comics used to live in Virginia Galleries in Glasgow as I assume Grant was a fixture in the shop, and was probably even allowed into the back room of the olde curiosity shopesque store.
The Fauves – Tortured Soul
These fortune teller devices were very popular when I were a lad, and my friend Natalie takes her website address from the original Czech name.
Free! Kill Your Boyfriend Fortune Teller!
And that is who the following photo is from. What you can’t see behind the sign is yet again a cage for the workers to hide behind avoiding threats and violence from the populace.
The Orb listings on ebay